*The term "couple" is not meant to refer solely to dyadic relationships, but also to diverse forms of intimate relationships, such as open and polyamorous relationships. A synonymous term could be: therapy for intimate relationships.
At the beginning of couple* therapy, we develop consensual goals and discuss the conditions, with no mandatory structure. The sessions usually last 50 minutes and cost 100€ per couple*. My contributions have the character of recommendations, with which the couple* can experiment within and outside of the sessions.
A basis of my perspective on couple* therapy is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Other approaches that I like to work with in couple* therapy are Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) and common communication models: the controlled dialogue, the Four-Ears model, Nonviolent Communication (NVC). I have experience with intercultural and LGBTQI* relationships and like to reflect with them on how gender- or culture-specific characteristics are relevant in their cases.
Even if outcome openness is important and peaceful separation can be a valid goal, I try to focus the attention in the sessions primarily on the positive aspects of the relationship, which sometimes receive too little attention. I strive to understand each perspective impartially. Not only to convey acceptance to each individual person, but also because the principle of emotional connectedness implies that only joint solutions can work.
I believe that problems in a relationship are part of it and not an exception, but the norm. Many couples* believe that what has already happened to them is extraordinary and particularly bad and make profound conclusions about their inadequacy. My view of people and my experience with relationships is that we all make mistakes, but are rarely malicious or sick, but - more compassionately thought - have simply lost our way and should find better alternatives. A mindful perspective and caring accompaniment from the outside can help to develop new ways of thinking and behaving that can give the relationship a new perspective. Developing a common gentle language - verbal, but also in gestures - is often important in improving the communication and the emotional connection.
Many people experience partnership problems as a "heart against mind" and demand insight from themselves, that the clear mind should finally prevail against the dull heart. There are undoubtedly cases where this is true. But from my experience, too rigid a mind is more often than a sluggish heart the cause of the problem. Too often we get tangled up and lost in the constructions of our mind. If we can trust our hopes more than our fears, a brighter perspective can often emerge.
I would like to encourage to see the quality of the emotional relationship as a product of behavior and not as a purely physiological coincidence. I am convinced that through an attentive and loving attitude and caring actions we can create the basis for trust, security and intimacy.